Fisherman's
Robe
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Ok, so it's not a new thought. For those of
you who know me, you probably know that I have been leading worship in
some form or another literally since I got a guitar, well, one week
later, for Christmas of 1975. I got a guitar, God taught me to
play (I'll explain right after this thought), and I played at church
with my pastor on New Years Eve for worship at midnight to ring in
1976... Now the explaination- I was so, so, so hungry to play guitar
that every day of my freshman year, I would come home from school, do
my homework (yes I loved school and was essentially a geek before there
were geeks), and then I would sit and stare at the crappy guitars in
the Sears catalog. I didn't know they were crappy guitars, but I
knew that I wanted one, and every day the hunger got worse. I
really think, in retrospect, that if my parents had not gotten me a
guitar, I would have coined the term "postal" before that word changed
from an adjective to a verb. I KNEW that there would be a
guitar there on Christmas morning, and thanks to very gracious parents,
there was. A brand new Six string classical guitar- probably from
Sears, I didn't asked and I didn't care. I had purchased a lesson
book sometime in November in expectation, AND my pastor, who played
also, had given me a different kind of lesson book. (To this day,
I wish I knew what that book was called and what company published
it.) By noon, I was on the couch in the living room with the
guitar and the two books. By two O'clock, I had gained
understanding of how to tune the guitar, at least to itself, though I
might have had a pitch pipe tuner too. And I don't really
remember anything else until New Years Eve, at the church, at the
lock-in all night party, where at probably 11:30 we gathered to do the
right religious duty to pray in the new year. But this one was
different. We always sang essentially what were the beginnings of
Christian Worship songs and choruses- basic camp songs. Nothing
difficult, Give me Oil In my Lamp, Kum By Yah, If You're Happy and You
know it, Father Abraham, The Lord Said to Noah (complete with about 15
verses), and the like. Now those songs seem really juvenile and
way too simple, but see, the magic of the book that Pastor Pete (Martin
Peterhaensel) gave me was the not really fully understood music theory
that allowed me to play those songs in about 5 Keys. For you
musicians, it was basically the idea of I (1), IV (4), V7
(5-7), vi (6), in each key. The thing that stunk, and yet it
forced me to learn really quickly, was that my pastor really only liked
one key -E Major. The problem with E was the V7 chord. The
most evil of beginning guitar chords, the B7. (Sorry to those of
you for whom this is virtually Greek (well, Roman -numerals)).
The B7 chord takes 4 fingers to play, where in every other civilized
guitar key (G, D, A, and sometimes C) all the chords only require three
fingers to play, but that stinkin' B7 needed all four, and that was
they key, in spite of my vociferous protests, that we played almost
everything in. I don't know how good I was, or how many times I
missed getting all four fingers in place, but it seemed that God had
wired me to play guitar, which is why I blamed HIM for the quick
tutoring, and not just myself. The up side was that I learned
really quickly. The down side was that I learned really quickly
(so I never bothered to practice- I didn't usually have to).
I was quickly joined to the "Folk Group" in my
private Catholic high school (in spite of growing up Lutheran), and
within a year became a primary lead player, I sat in on the lunch jams
(4 of the guys ahead of me were in professional, paying bands and used
to get together at lunch to tear it up.) I would sit with my
guitar watching and virtually silently playing along, and if they saw
me looking excessively puzzled at the chords, they would stop for a few
seconds so one of them could show me the new chord pattern.
They new it wouldn't take long, and even though I was sitting there
with an acoustic 12-string (Christmas #2- 1976), I was welcomed to jam
along with their loud electric band, because I learned quickly. I
kind of became the "project" and was tutored regularly in Funk
guitar. Through High School, I played almost every Sunday morning
for the Opening of Sunday School (sing along time) at my Lutheran
church, but I also played for all the masses at school, and
occasionally, I would get the nod to play a private mass for the
local Bishop (who never knew that I wasn't Catholic!) I didn't
care where I played, but it was almost always for church.
In college, I joined to campus ministry at
Mercyhurst College, and within a year became the head of the Folk Group
there, playing for Mass most Saturdays and virtually every
Sunday. My parents were questioned violently about my "turning
Catholic" to which they would say, "God is God, and if Steve is serving
God, what matters where?" I didn't have any interest in being
Catholic, though with many theological questions and objections, I
still could see that they were serving the same God, just with too many
dead beings put in the way.
My dad got a job in Pittsburgh, after growing up in
Erie, and while I was working as a camp counselor in Butler, PA the
summer of my Sophomore/Junior year exchange, my family moved away from
me, leaving me in Erie to finish college, and for a few weeks, not
knowing really where I lived. (YOU try explaing to almost
everyone, as a 20 year old Junior in college, why you do NOT know your
address!!!) I had it on a paper in my wallet. It was a
comical time, especially for those who knew me.
So, I learned honestly to worship God. Didn't
matter what the music was, Hymns in church, or special music, or camp
songs in Sunday School or at camp, or Songs from Glory and Praise
volumes 1 and 2 (eventually 3), Hosanna Integrity, Vineyard (I
generally greatly disliked Maranatha for it's schmoozy
qualities). I played and led people in worship. I still do,
though things have changed drastically. Some of my friends try to
define me as a Luth-a-Cath-a-Meth-a-chari-costal (with time spent in
Presybterian, Baptist, "Christian" and independent churches.)
I have come to understand that God is God and essentially,
our FORMS of worhsip are irrelevant. If we come to Him, croaking,
but with clean hands and a pure heart, for the purpose of blessing HIM,
it is worship.
One fact that more and more makes me crazy is
our inane sub-definitions of Praise AND Worship, or the "start fast
(Praise) and then build to slow (Worship) dichotomy. "We have BOTH
kinds, Praise AND Worship!" I am more didactic about it. For me,
IF there is actually a distinction, it is in the Lyric not the
tempo. Fast or slow or punk or classical, if we are singing About
God (giving our Oh-so important opinions I or He) it is praise (more
often than not, of ourselves, but that is yet another rant.) And
if we are singing TO God, (You-focused, or in the case of Hymns and
Psalms He-focused) then it is worship. One of my most heartfelt
rants in the past dozen years, has been the overwhelming dis-focus of
"worship" songs, where the subject of the song is "I" and MAYBE the
direct object is God. Just look at the songs you sing.
There are some beautiful, well crafted songs that have become almost
anthemic of today's worship, and yet, "it's all about 'ME', I think God
is really awsome." What does God care, in a global sense, what WE
think about HIM? Like Isaiah's example- the Pot bragging about
how awesome the Potter is. Now really, isn't the issue of
worship, showing God that we love Him-we worship HIM? In fact,
while there is a place for the "I" songs, I believe that most of the
time, people, singing without paying much attention, are making oaths
to God that they have no intention of keeping, or even any recollection
of making. Doesn't the word say, "Let your 'yes' be 'yes', and
your 'no' be 'no'"? And, "Don't swear oaths by anything on earth
or under the earth....?" So what of these thousands, maybe
millions who come to church, are lead in a rousing round of, "I
will give You all my worship. I will give You all my
praise." Only to walk out of the building and right back to their
most current idol -car, computer, television, money, relationship,-
never to think of God again (while things are good) until next
week. No more worship, Probably, not even a prayer, and if that,
generally not with any intention of listening too, until next week's
round of promises and gushing declarations of how great is our God.
Then,(he continues), what about "the
anointing." That mystical event in most charismatic and
pentecostal churches, where once we have spent the appropriate amount
of time in Praise (you know, the fast songs), we come to worship (the
slow songs) and after just enough emotional charging and spiritual
fore-play, God finally decends and "the anointing falls." Yes, I
am stepping on toes, but I don't think I care any more. I was in a
service last night, where from even before the first note, God
was truly present with us, and it had NOTHING to do with the right
amount of emotion, time spent, and the correct balance of spiritual
fore-play (Praise THEN Worship), we were hungry for God's presence, we
expected God to come and dwell with us, and HE honored our
hunger! It's not always like that, but often it is. There
is not a "special moment" in the service that we work up to. We
invite an immanent God to join with us, expecting His presence, we come
to church with proper preparation (clean hands and pure hearts), and He
comes and spends time with us. And when the music stops, the
"Anointing" doesn't evaporate. We even give anouncements and take
up a collection and God is still very present with us. In fact,
while our services generally last for 2.5 to 4 hours, people just don't
leave when the service is over, though they are welcomed to go if they
want to. It is so awesome to just "hang out" in God's
presence. He is present to speak to us and through us. We
pray expecting change, and we see change. We minister to one
another and God is still with us. It's not a process. It's
not a form or formula, to invite God to show up and stay. His
anointing is not delicate or fragile. It's NOT about the music,
especially the Right music, or the most continuous music. It IS,
it seems about welcoming God, expecting God, wanting God, and, while
being ready, asking God to come and stay. Oh, one thing that I
forgot to mention about our church fellowship, we are as fully
committed as is humanly possible, to allow God to lead us in the 'right
now." We ask for His direction and as we hear from Him, we go in
that direction. The only agenda present from the pastors and the
worship team is to prepare for God, to welcome God, and to let God do
what HE wants in, with, and through us. It happened, last night,
that one of the primary directions we recieved was to pray/declare a
specific part of a song that we were singing. As we sang, "Not
our will but Yours be done, come and change us. Not our will but
Yours be done, come sustain us." We felt led to pause and "warn"
people that as we continued to sing that, that we were not just
mouthing words, but that for this "moment" our song, our cry, our plea,
was for God to take over, not just as a church, but as individuals, and
I warned people NOT to sing along if they didn't want God to come and
make a drastic change in their life, from "my way" to "His way.'
It sounds like a good thing, but for that moment, I
believe that God had inspired us to beg Him for something different,
and to have it His way. AND, it was perfectly alright for
anyone in the congregation who didn't feel ready to make that
declaration, to abstain from making it, but also to know that anyone
who DID declare it was in for change. It is important to
recognize that there is a difference between singing a song to the
Lord, and declaring something that God has pointed out as a Rhema word
for that moment. If we were given the same kind of word next week
within the same song, I might be suspicious, or it could be that
something was begun that needs to be completed, but we have no
expectation of WHAT God will say or do, just that He will BE with us
and give us direction and guidance in His presence.
It is also true for us that in this season of time,
one of the primary continuous "words" from God is that he is shifting
things from a "church" mindset to a "kingdom" mindset. It's not
about Victory Christian Tabernacle, it's about "THE Church of
Pittsburgh." Our little shelters and closed fellowships are not
what God is really wanting. It's NOT about super-pastor So-n-So
and the mega church, or about churchmouse-pastor Whomever and his
flock. It IS about God, and His kingdom and the work that He
desires to do in our city. We live in Pittsburgh, PA (in the
area). We need to get over ourselves and recognize that as THE Body of
Christ, we need each other. Period. We need super-pastor
So-n-So AND churchmouse pastor Whomever because each of them has gifts
and talents that are different from mine and from the people around
me. If we could just drop the self-importance and work together
people might not be so afraid of or put off by "The Church" and start
to see Jesus in people who were there to honestly minister to
them. Isn't it all about Jesus?
Time passed and I grew and learned new songs
and styles, but one thing never really changed; I loved to play in
church for God. I didn't come to understand the ramifications of
what I now know as "worship" very quickly in my denominational
worldview, but God was always there, He had given me the gifting to
play, and I loved to play excellently (with a good heart and as much
talent as I had) as often as I could. Now I feel like I
understand a little bit better, and it still doesn't matter what song
I'm playing, or even whether it's a published song, or an impromptu
song of the Spirit/prayer, I want to be there to help people join with
God, to minister to the Lord, and to follow His leading. My
preparation is very relevant, both heart prep and song choice, but when
God is driving the boat, the ride is always awesome. It's truly
NOT about form. It's NOT about the right pattern. It's NOT
about style or speed, or perfection. God wants to hang out with
us and if we are prepared -(clean hands and pure hearts)- and we ask,
He will come and stay.
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Finally changed again 8/6/2006!