Jon & Ardie Kayner

<BODY BACKGROUND="robebackground.jpg" BGCOLOR="#000099" TEXT="WHITE" LINK="#66FFFF" VLINK="#FF99FF" ALINK="RED"> <P> <A HREF="http://crossspot.com/cgi-bin/click/clickcount.pl?url=crossspot.com" TARGET="_blank"><IMG SRC="logos.gif" WIDTH="122" HEIGHT="35" VSPACE="0" HSPACE="0" BORDER="0"></A></P> <P ALIGN=CENTER> <HR ALIGN=CENTER WIDTH="100%" SIZE="2"> </P> <P ALIGN=CENTER> <FONT FACE="Adrianne"><FONT COLOR="YELLOW"><FONT SIZE="6">Pastor Steve Kayner</FONT></FONT></FONT><BR> <FONT FACE="Adrianne"><FONT COLOR="YELLOW">    "Jack of all trades and, finally, Master of Divinity"</FONT></FONT></P> <P> <FONT COLOR="BLACK">    </FONT><FONT COLOR="WHITE">Steve has been given a vision by God to launch a ministry of Pastoral Care to Christian leaders and their families, especially those who are somewhere in the process of burning out from their work.  The process of this vision has included an M. Div. degree from Asbury Theological Seminary.  Some of the preliminary ideas for the ministry can be found on the <A HREF="dreamconcept.htm">Dream Page</A>.</FONT>   While the details behind this ministry have been developing for close to seven years, the real beginning of the ministry is still in the future.<BR>     While there seem to be preliminary plans forming, the vision for the larger ministry will soon be uploaded to a web page near this one with a link that will appear almost right here.<BR>      In the meantime, there has been the wedding to Amy on June 5, 1997, Seminary 8/97-12/01 (which included our time at Open Door Free Methodist Church in Nicholasville, KY).  At Open Door, Steve was the worship leader among other ministry tasks and challenges.  At the present, the Kayners are growing in grace and searching  for direction in Pittsburgh, PA.</P> <P>     <A HREF="archivesteve.html">4/18/02</A></P> <P>     <A HREF="archivesteve.html">6/22/02</A></P> <P>     <A HREF="archivesteve.html#7/22/02">7/22/02</A><BR>  </P> <P>     9/10/02</P> <P>     It is virtually September and it seems that nothing has changed, really.  It is hard to be faithful when faith is all<BR> there is.  I'm not complaining, mind you.  I know that compared to millions of people in this world, my life is luxurious,<BR> but firstly, I try not to work out my life on a  comparison basis.  And more importantly than that, when I do get weak and<BR> begin to compare my life to anyone's, it is usually someone around me, and virtually all of the people around me,<BR> according to the world's basic standards, have tons more of the fun and easy things in life that I do right now.  Things<BR> like jobs and steady income spring to mind.  I don't generally find myself being envious of them or what they have, in<BR> face, it comes very natural for me to celebrate with their every step of progress and benefit.  However, there are still<BR> times when my flesh gets the better of me and I get selfish.<BR>         For example, a dear friend of mine recently changed jobs.  We were excited for him for this opportunity because it<BR> means that he will be around more and more consistently with this new job, but he told us also that he took a fairly<BR> substantial pay cut for the benefit of having a regular job with regular time for his family.  We still are celebrating that he<BR> has this much better job, but I got weak for a minute at one point and thought that I would feel like a  rich man if I could<BR> only earn what he LOST.  The amount that he lost in the job transfer, if I were to be able to  earn that much, would<BR> multiply my family's income by 18 to 20 times.</P> <P>         I think about things like this and I am thankful that my focus is not generally or even usually on what I don't have.<BR> (Yes, there are times like I am experiencing right now, where my thoughts are preoccupied with money and where and<BR> when I might be able to get enough to pay my bills).  But God has always been faithful to me and my family.  I can<BR> testify that when we got to Seminary  almost five years ago now, I knew that I would not be able to work and go to<BR> school.  At that point, I was afraid, once classes actually started, that I would not even be able to even go to school.<BR> (Classes were really, really tough, and I had been out of school for 13 years).<BR>     So after a short time, my wife found a job.  It was a part time job that paid only $5.50/hour.  When she told me that<BR> she had found a job, I was excited, but when she told me the details of the job, I had to ask her one question.  It was<BR> the only question that I felt was pertinent.  I asked her, "Do you feel that you're supposed to take this job?" (in other<BR> words, do you feel like God is pointing you to work here?)  She said, "yes, I think it is the right thing to do."   That was<BR> all I needed.  Honestly.  I didn't have any trouble believing that if God had provided this job opportunity for her, and she<BR> felt confident that she was being guided to take the job, then what she made would be enough.  It turned out that it truly<BR> was enough.  At first, it was not easy, and we made some hard choices, but eventually the job grew to full time, and<BR> the raises were regular.  God was providing for us and  by the end of my schooling, while we were by no means on top<BR> of it all, we had enough of even what we wanted that life felt very in control.<BR>     So, here I am now, waiting for God.  Actually, if I were totally honest, I would have to wonder if God were not waiting for me to be more faithful in prayer and devotions and bible study.  But, what I mean is that I still do not have "a job" and<BR> we have a very part  time income.  According to the wisdom of the world, I am an idiot because I don't just run out and<BR> find work.  Even according to the Christian world, I am an idiot for the same reason (which makes me very sad and<BR> frustrated).  But I do not feel any freedom to go out and find a job.  I take work when it comes, and am not "holding out<BR> for a specific job," or "keeping myself free from a daily work schedule in order to be ready to serve God."  I would<BR> honestly LOVE to go out and find a decent job, for a  decent salary, and while I could do that and remain a good<BR> Christian, I don't feel that this is what I am "supposed" to do.   I  have been, and continue to be a servant leader in the<BR> household where I am living.  I try to do any task that I can do that will lighten the load of another member of the<BR> household.  Therefore, I cook supper almost every night, I take out the garbage  on garbage night, I take time watching<BR> my cousin's daughter so that mom can take a break from that at different times of the day, I have been working with<BR> my wife, repairing a car that was given to my father so that he doesn't have to work all day then  come home and work<BR> on the car at night, I take trips to the store for things that we need around the house, and I watch for opportunities to<BR> take up the slack in other ways.  I think it is far more difficult to do this and be a servant leader than it would to simply<BR> find a job, but I know that God has a plan for me, and if I am faithful, and a good steward of what I have now, that I will<BR> know what that plan is, and move on each step of it when it is time.<BR>     For now, my family and my close friends who know me (and pray for me) are confident, with me, that I am on the most excellent path according to what I know.  With that confidence, and what little faith I can keep together, I am at peace about my life.  I don't love it.  Many times I don't totally even like it, but I know that I am being faithful to what I have been asked by God to do, and that is the place that I want to be, no matter what.  If tomorrow, I felt directed to find a job, I would simultaneously find a job and prepare to hold a party with my first paycheck.  But if tomorrow I feel the same way that I do right now, I will boldly stand under the scorn and condemnation of the church and the world, knowing that if I am correct, what happens in my future will only be attributable to God's great grace and provision.  You can look at me funny if you want to.  It doesn't matter.  What matters to me is that when all is said and done, and my life is over, that what I will hear is, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  (At that point I will know that God does not like his steak bloody or even pink in the middle- assuming that my first job in heaven is barbeque chef!) !<BR>  <BR>  <BR> <BR> <BR> </P> <P ALIGN=CENTER> <FONT COLOR="WHITE">If you want to ask questions or get in contact, please click on <A HREF="mailto:skayner@fishermansrobe.com">my name</A> and send me a message.</FONT></P> <P ALIGN=CENTER> <A HREF="index.html">Home</A>/<A HREF="amy.html">Amy</A>/<A HREF="vision.html">The Vision/</A><A HREF="dreamconcept.htm">The Dream</A><BR> <A HREF="kaynerstart.html">Jon&Ardie/ </A><A HREF="fourthsunday.html">Fourth Sunday</A> </BODY>